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ostracizedpoodle:

Im not allowed outside after dark because i outshine all the stars and the moon so baby sea turtles always end up flocking to me

lmaoalien:

ejaculot:

when someone says they dont like dogs

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richwhitelesbian:

i dont go on skype anymore. chat with me by screaming as loud as you can into the night sky. i will be listening

roughrimjob:

FEELING LIKE YOU BOTHER THE ONLY PERSON YOU WANT TO TALK TO IS REALLY SHITTY

liftedandgiftedd:

I hope whoever I marry is ready to have a ton of sex all the time.